The final time i traveled to Nigeria, I used to be seven years previous. It was 1994 and my mother and father, who had emigrated to the U.S. in the early Eighties, had not returned dwelling since. They had been wanting to introduce their 4 daughters — together with me, their second oldest — to their household.
Within the city of Port Harcourt, the capital of my mother and father’ dwelling state of Rivers, my sisters and I had been dropped into the arms of cousins, aunts, uncles, and associates who had been ready years to squeeze, kiss, feed, and spoil us — and likewise introduce us to our “Nigerianness.” My mother and father had spoken some Igbo to us after I was studying to speak, however I had already misplaced the language. I stared blankly into the eyes of dozens of brown-faced, white-toothed strangers, whereas my older sister, who was nonetheless fluent, translated. “The place are you from?” I used to be requested. “America,” I might reply, a bit confused. I used to be promptly informed that I used to be not an American, however a baby of Nigeria.
Being in Nigeria could afford me the posh of being unapologetically Black, not like within the white areas that I navigate in the US. However most of my prolonged household in Nigeria doesn’t know that I’m homosexual. And, in Nigeria, being overtly homosexual is an precise hazard. In 2014, Nigerian president Goodluck Jonathan signed the Identical-Intercourse Marriage (Prohibition) Act, and since then, authorities have carried out mass arrests and have seemed the opposite approach as residents commit violence towards Nigerians suspected of being homosexual. Lots of these accused of violating the regulation have been charged with both planning, celebrating, or collaborating in homosexual marriage or just showing queer. The penalty for a conviction is imprisonment for as much as 14 years.
In my early 30s, I moved from the Midwest, the place I used to be born and raised, to New York Metropolis. I used to be each exhausted and excited. I had spent years denying my artistic ardour and my identification, however I used to be going to be a author, and in one of many gayest cities within the nation.
Not lengthy after I arrived, I went to the Whitney Museum of American Artwork and walked by way of “To Wander Decided,” an exhibition of works by Nigerian-American artist Toyin Ojih Odutola. One of many charcoal sketches depicted a scene from the wedding celebration of two males, becoming a member of collectively two fictional aristocratic Nigerian clans. To me, these canvases had been a portal to a world of audacious risk. The little queer child in me was awestruck; the grownup me was radicalized.
About 5 years after that have on the Whitney, I made a decision it was lastly time to return to Nigeria, however alone, and by myself phrases. I traveled to Lagos, about 400 miles northwest of my mother and father’ dwelling state. With 17.5 million individuals, Lagos is each Nigeria’s and Africa’s most populous metropolis. (Lagos was additionally the capital till Abuja was given the title in 1991.) It’s a coastal metropolis, bordered partially by the Gulf of Guinea and a big lagoon that types stretches of scenic seashore.
Lagos could be finest recognized for Afrobeat, the music style pioneered and named by the late Fela Kuti, or because the setting for a lot of “Nollywood” movies. However the metropolis has additionally change into considered one of Africa’s main competition locations; it hosts Artwork X Lagos, West Africa’s first worldwide artwork truthful, and Lagos Trend Week, the main occasion of its form on the continent. It felt like the appropriate place to reacquaint myself with the nation and to immerse myself in its artistic scene.
I knew that after I used to be on the bottom, I couldn’t overtly exist as a queer particular person. I didn’t know the way that will make me really feel, and I used to be afraid to seek out out. However I knew I needed to see artwork by Nigerians, in Nigeria.
My cousin Ebuka made plans to hitch my weeklong journey. I hadn’t seen him since that first go to practically three a long time in the past, however I trusted him. (My mom had additionally warned him that if a single hair on my head was harm, there can be hell to pay.)
Ebuka may be very tall and durable, with a smile as large as his face. As quickly as I landed on the airport, and commenced to search for him, I felt I used to be someplace unique and acquainted on the similar time. Nigerian phrases flowed into my ears and out of my mouth as I attempted to choose up the Igbo circulate.
After I stood in entrance of the primary art work of the journey, I felt whole-body aid, simply as I had within the Whitney so a few years in the past. Ebuka and I had stopped into Untitled, a gallery that seemed like a shabby concrete dice, however with a colourful sculpture of a butterfly on its exterior. It was Worldwide Girls’s Day, and the gallery was internet hosting a panel to accompany “Break up,” an exhibition of works by girls.
Considered one of them, Fiyin Koko, was form sufficient to pose for a photograph with me in entrance of her work I’m Studying and Can You Hear Me? Within the works, two girls who resembled the artist — however with blue pores and skin and flowing hair, like tendrils of seaweed — are enjoying phone throughout the 2 canvases. Every girl is holding a paper cup to her ear and listening to the opposite, as if the 2 figures are one former and future self.
The piece that had the most important influence on me was Chigozie Obi’s An Open Backyard, which exhibits a younger girl sitting again on her elbows, flipping the chicken. Her legs are open to reveal pink lace panties, and her stomach is revealed beneath a inexperienced crop prime. Inexperienced vines curl round her thighs. In capital letters, the artist had written, in Igbo, “Meche Okpa Gi, I Bu Nwanyi!” This piece scandalized my cousin, however I squealed in delight after I realized I might learn, pronounce, and translate “Shut Your Legs, You’re a Girl!” with out help.
Recollections flooded again of the various occasions I used to be informed to hold myself in a way that suited my gender and the norms of Nigerian tradition. I laughed to myself, questioning whether or not my mother and father can be proud to know that their second daughter wasn’t utterly ineffective at talking Igbo, or if they’d be mortified to seek out out {that a} sexual show of resistance was the explanation for this linguistic revelation. I determined the reply didn’t matter.
One of the vital notable locations to see artwork in Lagos is the Nike Artwork Gallery, the nation’s largest privately owned gallery. Each inch of the partitions, and plenty of inches of the ground, had been coated in work, sketches, sculptures, and combined media, all strewn about with none obvious curation.
We ate plantain beignets with house-made spicy ketchup and a inexperienced salad topped with grilled rooster, locust-bean croutons, and mustard dressing.
It was one of the various collections I’d ever seen, with as many types as there have been works. I noticed replicas of the kobo, a Nigerian coin that’s hardly ever in circulation. There have been quite a few work of individuals with conventional Nigerian scarves and garments wrapped round their heads and our bodies; the figures had been holding infants, promoting merchandise at markets, smiling, crying, laughing. Some physique components, like eyes, butts, and bellies, had been exaggerated into absurdist types. Some items had been monochrome, executed totally in yellows and blues; others exploded with a number of colours.
Ebuka and I additionally stopped on the Tiwani Modern Gallery, an outpost of the London artwork home that’s recognized for showcasing African artists and people of African descent. The Yoruba phrase tiwani loosely interprets to “it belongs to us.” (In Lagos, a lot of the inhabitants speaks Yoruba.) The brand new location had opened the month earlier than I visited, and British-Nigerian artist Pleasure Labinjo’s “Full Floor” had been chosen because the opening exhibition. Labinjo had made a collection of nude self-portraits, reworking cellphone selfies into large-scale work that crammed the room’s white partitions, reaching towards the tall ceilings. Each curve, roll, and “imperfection” of her physique was contained within the body: nothing was airbrushed.
The present jogged my memory of a dialog I’d heard again at my resort, Bogobiri Home. The property, within the posh Iyoki neighborhood, additionally hosts occasions at its adjoining artwork gallery. I’d been in a position to attend one earlier within the week, the place Tola Akerele, an inside designer and Bogobiri’s co-owner, had stated: “Put it on the market, consider in your self. You gained’t be glad for those who don’t carry out what’s inside you.”
I additionally made time to eat. So much. In Lagos, vacationers can eat at fast-food joints that serve conventional dishes cafeteria-style. They will additionally eat at modern bistros that serve espresso martinis or at eating places with prix fixe menus that includes high-concept Nigerian delicacies. I did a mixture of all three.
Ebuka and I had brunch at Calabar Aroma, an informal spot within the Lekki Leisure neighborhood that serves staples like jollof rice and goat or white rice and tomato stew. At Atmosphère Rooftop, one other Lekki bar and restaurant, we had an entire catfish, grilled and garnished with peppers, onions, and greens. Later within the journey, I used to be delighted to seek out ofe, a soup that’s normally paired with a tender starch like cassava or plantains to assist sop up the broth. I all the time select my favourite: pounded yam.
Considered one of our standout meals was at Nok by Alara, a restaurant and way of life boutique that’s additionally in Lekki. We ate plantain beignets — no actual Nigerian restaurant’s menu is full with out plantains — with house-made spicy ketchup and a inexperienced salad topped with grilled rooster, locust-bean croutons, and mustard dressing. The primary dish was “orange fish,” a deep-sea perch laid on a tomato-based spicy curry and topped with fried spaghetti.
One night time, Ebuka and I capped off our day at Sailors Lounge, a two-story waterside bar with a large terrace adorned with string lights. A waitress in (what else?) a sailor’s uniform served us goat meat and combined peppers, plus giant pints of Heineken and Orijin, a combined drink of African herbs, fruits, and spirits. We toasted, searching on the lights of town beneath.
Just a few days earlier than the tip of the journey, I started to really feel homesick. Not only for my literal dwelling, however for my unencumbered self: my womanhood, my queerness, which in Lagos couldn’t be overtly proven. I used to be craving solitude. After I walked into Artwork Twenty One, a gallery within the high-end neighborhood of Victoria Island, I used to be happy to seek out it empty, apart from one staffer.
Nigerian mixed-media artist Olu Amoda’s solo present, “Carte Blanche,” was on show. Round sculptures made from items of scrap steel appeared to stare down at me from the white partitions. In a separate room was a sculpture of two giant metallic circles linked by a skinny crimson thread; one held on the wall, whereas the opposite lay on the ground. Strewn round had been useless leaves, combined with champagne corks. Extra crimson threads had been bleeding into the leaves, interwoven with metallic cutouts of beasts and birds.
I couldn’t assist associating the crimson threads with blood or, relatively, bloodlines. I contemplated the distinction between my American upbringing and my estranged relationship to this homeland, a relationship that had all the time felt as delicate and skinny as these threads. It was troublesome to begin the method of (perhaps) falling in love with this nation when there have been so many obstacles to creating and sustaining a wholesome connection.
At this level, I used to be simply starting to worth myself as a lady, a queer particular person, and a author. Being within the closet, a minimum of in Lagos, appeared a small sacrifice in contrast with a few of the realities that Nigerians face. I felt an uncomfortable privilege, one which my mother and father had usually identified to my sisters and me once we had been rising up. They shamed us for complaining about freedoms — of expression, of identification — when for our Nigerian household, electrical energy and water weren’t all the time certainties.
I didn’t know what my life was going to seem like over the subsequent few years, however I knew what I wanted — and it was to be lifted by, and immersed in, as a lot artwork as I might absorb.
I spent a part of my final day strolling alongside the seashore in Lekki Leisure, a serene getaway from the push of town, with Ebuka and his fiancée, Berta. We watched different beachgoers sunning on recliners in cabanas, and I paid for a guided horseback journey.
That night time, I splurged on an eight-course meal at Ìtàn Check Kitchen — ìtàn is Yoruba for “story.” (The restaurant closed in July when the constructing was bought; chef Michael Elégbèdé is searching for a brand new location.) A dozen diners sat collectively at a wood desk formed like a tree. I seemed round at my tablemates, all wearing sensible clothes: brown leather-based suspenders, gator-skin flats. It might have been a scene from New York, nevertheless it was additionally distinctly Nigerian.
Every course had a theme equivalent to a unique Nigerian competition, like Agemo, which celebrates youngsters. The dishes had been beautiful: inside an empty snail shell sat a bit of flippantly battered yam, with black fermented locust beans molded into the form of fish roe. One other plate had fried mackerel topped with spicy peppers.
As I sipped my wine, my thoughts drifted to a gathering I’d had earlier that day with a queer photographer named Ade. We met for a beer and suya — skewers of closely seasoned beef or rooster — and it was by far my favourite a part of the journey. We each had been very conscious of our environment; each minute or so, we seemed over our shoulders to verify nobody was taking a look at us for too lengthy.
Ade informed me he was nonetheless dwelling together with his mother and father, and regardless that he hadn’t come out to them, he was fairly certain that his mom and father knew he was homosexual. After I shared my story of popping out to my equally conventional Nigerian mother and father, he visibly winced. Ade had spent the primary years of his twenties constructing a profession as a photographer, and he hoped to earn a scholarship to maneuver to New York Metropolis. As we stated goodbye, I needed him luck to find the type of freedom I’d been experiencing not too long ago. No different moments in my journey had been as candy as that one hour I spent with him. It underscored my want for — and my proper to — dwelling as freely, and as queerly, as I can.
I by no means thought my return to Nigeria can be considered one of assertion, energy, and self-love. These items had been completely anathema to what my mother and father’ dwelling nation had lengthy represented for me. By taking in these artworks, I recovered a spark of affection for a spot I’ve all the time been afraid of. There was a lot vitality, I discovered, and a lot willpower for a very good life.
The place to Keep
Bogobiri Home
The 16-room Bogobiri Home resort is a gathering spot for the Ikoyi neighborhood’s artistic set.
16×16
Every of the ten rooms at this Victoria Island property was designed by a unique artist.
The place to Eat and Drink
Calabar Aroma
Head to the low-key Calabar Aroma for conventional Nigerian delicacies.
Nok by Alara
Nok by Alara is a up to date African restaurant helmed by Senegalese-born chef Pierre Thiam.
Atmosphère Rooftop
Be part of Lekki Seaside residents for alfresco drinks lengthy after darkish.
Sailors Lounge
Count on a pulsing cocktail bar with views of Lagos Lagoon at Sailors Lounge.
What to Do
Artwork Twenty One
Catch solo exhibitions by outstanding figures, like multi-disciplinary artist Tejumola Butler Adenuga, at the Victoria Island house, Artwork Twenty One.
Nike Artwork Gallery
Nike Artwork Gallery, the nation’s largest privately owned gallery, is a part of the Nike Artwork Basis, established by textile artist Nike Monica Okundaye.
Tiwani Modern
An outpost of the London flagship, the Tiwani Modern gallery spotlights artists from throughout the African diaspora.
Untitled
Untitled, an Ikoyi gallery and occasion house, usually invitations makers to offer studio classes and talks.
A model of this story first appeared within the October 2024 difficulty of Journey + Leisure beneath the headline “Lagos Rising”