Ricki Lake Says She’s Tried Ayahuasca, Regardless of Previously Being Petrified of Medicine

Ricki Lake is opening up about her ex-husband Christian Evans — and the way he modified her in some ways earlier than his loss of life in 2017.

“He was tremendous magical, and he was head over heels in love with me and I with him,” Lake, 56, informed writer and loss of life doula Alua Arthur on the Finish Nicely’s annual symposium on Nov. 22, Finish Nicely 2024: Frequent Floor.

“We met throughout a medical journey,” she continued. “Ayahuasca, to be totally clear.” Lake mentioned that previous to assembly Evans, she was adamantly against mind-bending substances.

“I used to be such a Nancy Reagan disciple once I did my speak present, I used to be like, ‘Simply say no!’ to every little thing, like, ew, there was judgment, worry. I used to be so closed-minded. And Christian, he cracked me open. Like, me, doing ayahuasca in northern California? What? Are you kidding?”

Lake, who was the featured speaker on the end-of-life symposium, went on to speak about how Evans’ life and loss of life modified her in different methods — particularly opening her as much as the world of bipolar problems. Evans dedicated suicide at age 45 amid his battle with bipolar dysfunction.

“I didn’t perceive what bipolar dysfunction meant at first,” Lake mentioned. “I do know he suffered from melancholy and had lots of ache. We had been collectively 4 years earlier than he had his first psychotic break. It was nearly extra surprising seeing him flip into one other particular person than his final loss of life,” she says.

She added that she did her greatest to assist him.

“I went to nice lengths to avoid wasting him; I did every little thing I might in my energy to carry him to the physician to get him assist, and it was actually difficult. He had his second psychotic break two years after the primary and finally took his life in Feb of 2017.”

Although the couple had divorced in 2015, they remained shut and Lake says that after his loss of life, she suffered from the concept she had failed him at first.

“I’m a manifester I get s– finished,” she mentioned. “And when it got here to fixing him, I couldn’t repair him, I couldn’t save him.”

Lake, who shares two kids Milo, 27, and Owen, 23, along with her first husband Rob Sussman, has since remarried Ross Burningham, and he or she says she talks to him about Evans on a regular basis.

“I speak about him rather a lot, I take into consideration him rather a lot. He’s not holding me again,” she mentioned.

“What I can say is thru loving and shedding him, I’m the very best model of myself due to the way in which he beloved me. And sure, he left me, however I imagine he spared me and that he didn’t go away me, that he’s nonetheless proper right here.”

By no means miss a narrative — join PEOPLE’s free each day publication to remain up-to-date on the very best of what PEOPLE has to supply​​, from movie star information to driving human curiosity tales.

She added, “I really feel like I’ve realized so many classes, a lot about I like, and the way we’re nonetheless related and that they’re not gone, however he needed to go away for me to have this stunning, ample life that I admire each day. I get up in gratitude and am so appreciative of this life I had with him and now with out him.”

For those who or somebody you realize is contemplating suicide, please contact the 988 Suicide and Disaster Lifeline by dialing 988, textual content “STRENGTH” to the Disaster Textual content Line at 741741 or go to 988lifeline.org.